The connection between relationships, intimacy, and business is stronger than you think. Your relationships and your level of intimacy with yourself, others, and God influence your business growth.
Relationships and intimacy influence business growth. Of course, you can think of relationship marketing, but your personal relationships and level of intimacy with yourself, your spouse, and even with God are also important. You need intimacy to succeed in life and business.
Intimacy begins with being present
Social media is one of the distractions that keep you from being present. We need personal connection and intimacy and trying to emulate everything and everyone you see online distracts from focusing on being present and building connection.
As a business owner, it’s easy to compare yourself with other entrepreneurs, but it’s so much better to support one another, hold each other up, and build relationships with like-minded people. Take a step back and not look at what other people are doing and concentrate on what God is calling you to do. Get intimate with the Holy Spirit and listen to what he’s telling you to do for the next right step.
Improving intimacy with God
To be truly intimate is also to listen. Don’t just pray, tell God your problems, ask Him for things, but then listen. Dr. Brown emphasized that it’s also important to ask God who we are, who he wants us to be, and how we should use the gifts he’s given us.
If you think about it, you need intimacy to succeed not only sexual intimacy. You need intimacy with God. To be in a relationship with Jesus to communicate with Him and listen for Him.
Intimacy with self
Another way you need intimacy to succeed is through self-acceptance. You need an intimate relationship with yourself to accept yourself, to love yourself, to respect yourself, and to be kind to yourself. In addition, all of your relationships will begin with your relationship with yourself.
You should never say anything bad about yourself because you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. The world may talk about you but don’t talk negatively about yourself. The Bible says that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Truly love yourself because people will treat you the way you treat yourself. Even Jesus took time for himself. As a business owner, it’s important for you to as well. When you rest, you will have more energy to build intimate connections.
Intimate connection with your spouse, your kids, and others requires you to have good self-intimacy and to know yourself and your boundaries.
You need intimacy to succeed and that means being truly present
When you are truly present, you are in the moment, you aren’t thinking about what’s going to happen in 10 hours. When you find yourself distracted, use your five senses. Find 5 things you can see, smell, taste, touch, hear. For example, if doing dishes, focus on doing dishes. If having a passionate moment with your spouse, focus solely on that.
Learn more about balance and intimacy by listening to episode 116.
Things you can do to be fully present
The first is to focus on your five senses at that moment. Secondly, transition from work to home so that you can let go of other things and be in the moment. Learn to go with the flow. Nothing in this world is perfect. Stop trying to make everything perfect. It’s okay if you aren’t perfect. Imperfection makes the world beautiful.
And the third thing you can do is ask for help. Even if you ask the kids to help with dishes, laundry, etc. In both life and business, you need to ask for help. Not asking for help is one reason entrepreneurs don’t succeed.
Fourth, remember that sexual intimacy shouldn’t be a chore. Intimacy should be similar to a playground. Focus solely on the person you are with.
If you stop worrying in the bedroom and just play, you’ll have more intimacy.
How to change the mindset around intimacy and sex
You need intimacy to succeed in your relationships. Intimacy begins with communication.
Realize that menopause is real. There are real challenges that occur when the body transitions into menopause.
Eating properly and exercising helps with anxiety, depression, and your hormone levels. They also help you feel good about yourself by releasing positive endorphins.
Remember that what you liked when you were younger, may not be what you like now. So communicate your needs and what you want with your spouse. It takes 20 to 25 minutes to warm up a female’s body. Men don’t understand what women want, so you need to have the conversation – outside of the bedroom so that the bedroom doesn’t become a pressure cooker.
Men are more visual, whereas women are more emotionally connected.
The reason people get divorced
The number one reason people get divorced is because of loneliness. Loneliness is different than being alone. When couples aren’t communicating there can be a lack of trust.
How can couples grow closer and begin communicating better?
There are several things couples can do to improve their relationship.
- Schedule and go on date nights
- Do check-ins. Talk and have real conversations. If it is difficult to talk, use paper and a timer. Talk from the place of I feel and the other person can write – take notes – which helps you understand from the other person’s point of view.
- Validate your spouse’s feelings. Don’t argue about a person’s feelings.
When you are experiencing difficulty with expressing your feelings because of the reaction of the other person, you both need to pay attention to your emotions and how you feel physically. The other person should be able to recognize what it looks like when the other person starts to get upset. There are solutions for having difficult conversations.
When one or the other person gets upset, it’s important to take a time out. Allow yourselves more time to process and to calm down. Calm down before you continue to communicate.
Remember, anxiety is not an excuse for communicating poorly or overreacting. If your spouse is anxious and gets upset when you express your feelings, you may need to take time out before pursuing the conversation. Writing and journaling, help process difficult conversations, and sometimes people need to move and work off the pressure or stress of the conversation. This is intimacy.
Does alcohol influence your sexual relationship and intimacy?
If you need intimacy to succeed, how does alcohol influence your ability to be intimate? Alcohol can sometimes become a third party in a relationship. When a partner goes to alcohol instead of to their partner when they are upset, it can cause additional conflicts. Alcohol may influence the thoughts and feelings toward another person. It can block you and prevent you from being vulnerable. Likewise, any addiction will decrease intimacy completely.
Should be living alcohol-free? Listen to episode 169.
About Dr. April Brown
Dr. April Brown began her career as an accountant and then became a counselor. She now has a private practice and focuses on intimacy because people need connection. Dr. Brown helps individuals and families improve their connection. She believes that intimacy begins with your relationship with God, your spouse, and your children.
Learn more and connect with Dr. April Brown
