The becoming of an empty nester

Time Flies When You’re In the Nest

Whether you are already an empty nester, or you are a young mom, the time with our children flies by. We have a narrow window of opportunity before it’s time to give them their wings and say “fly, be free”.

There are so many mixed emotions with the send-off process. We’re proud, excited, nervous, maybe even anxious, part sad, and part happy.

But what do we do when they’re all gone?

Even if we have a full-time job there will be new vacancies in our schedule. If we’ve been a stay at home parents, now we really have an open calendar.

So, what’s next?

Well, Jodi Silverman is here to guide us on the next phase of empty nesting and teach us how to dare on!

Jodi says it’s creating little new normals.

Jodi spent 20-plus years in sales. When her children were young, she left corporate and started her own printing business. She was still in sales but working for herself. Once her children started high school, Jodi realized that she started to have much more time on her hands. The additional time shed light on the fact that she really wasn’t fulfilled in her business.

Jodi left her company and joined a network marketing company. This led her on a journey of discovering things about herself that she hadn’t realized. She was introduced to coaching during this time. Jodi was saying yes to things she never knew she could do. She found strengths she didn’t know she had and embraced them.

Upon this realization, Jodi decided she wanted to help other women entering the empty nest phase discover themselves.

Vulnerability

We as women have to support each other. If we are in a place of influence, we should share the limiting beliefs and fears that we experience to help others do the same. Our journeys can positively influence others to push through and accept the fact that fear is always going to be part of you, but it isn’t going to keep them stuck. We can’t fear judgment.

Our gifts and voices will resonate with certain people. When we reach one person, it’s a mic-drop moment.

If we can touch even one life, we have done our job. We aren’t meant to help everyone. When we talk to everyone, we talk to no one.

When our children leave us, it is sad, but it isn’t just a loss, it is an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to expand and grow ourselves.

An Adjustment

It is such an adjustment when our children leave us. When they leave, our purpose changes dramatically. And there is a phase of reconnection with our partners.

The Phases

The empty nest doesn’t start when the kids leave the house. There are phases, just like menopause. Pre-empty nest, empty nest, and post-empty nest.

The empty nest phase actually starts when the kids are in high school and driving themselves.

Reconnection is important and it can happen. But we do need to invest in reconnection.

Ways to Reconnect as an Empty Nester

Do a day swap – each partner plans a day based on the things they enjoy doing.
Reflect on what you did before you had kids.
Get vulnerable and tell your partner what you want to do and that you want to spend more time together.
Compromise – relationships are giving and take

Discovery

Accept a new adventure.
Step out of your comfort zone.
Dare to do something new.

A Series of Questions for Finding Your Second Phase as an Empty Nester

What do you value?
What makes your heart sing?
When in your life, outside of motherhood, that made you excited and fulfilled?

Sometimes you just sit with the questions and then step out and do something new.

By daring, you are stepping out to do something new, or something that you haven’t done in a while, but something that fulfills you.

Daring doesn’t mean jumping out of an airplane. It could be as simple as riding a bike or learning to play Canasta. Daring could be spending a day giving random compliments to strangers. It could be doing something for other people, anything that is moving out of your head and into your heart space.

Your next phase doesn’t have to be a paid position. It could be a volunteer position.

Use the skills you’ve developed and perfected over the years. Organization, event planning, budgeting, and so much more.

Discover your values, visions and passions.

Don’t assume you have to work when the kids leave. You can find meaningful volunteer opportunities instead if you are blessed and don’t need additional income.

Find Your Community

Don’t listen to the shoulds.

Ask yourself “if money is not an issue, what would you love to do”?

You can find a passion, a hobby, a job, or a volunteer position. But focus on what is going to make you happy, and give you joy and purpose.

Permission to Create a Second Phase

As an empty nester, give yourself permission to create a new normal.

Start having date nights.
Go for a walk and then have a late dinner.
Break away from the traditional clock.
Shake things up a bit. Eat dinner and what TV.

The vacant time is a gift. You haven’t been able to do whatever you wanted until now.

Find new hobbies as an Empty Nester.

Golf
Tennis
Book Club
Photography
This is your time! It is limitless!

The Kids’ Point of View

Our kids are watching us. They are paying attention to how we are handling life and what we are doing. Kids will learn that it is OK for us to have our time too.

Our job as parents is to show them how to live instead of just taking care of them to live.