The connection between relationships, intimacy, and business is stronger than you think. Your relationships and your level of intimacy with yourself, others, and God influence your business growth.
Relationships and intimacy influence business growth. Of course, you can think of relationship marketing, but your personal relationships and level of intimacy with yourself, your spouse, and even with God are also important. You need intimacy to succeed in life and business.
Intimacy begins with being present
Social media is one of the distractions that keep you from being present. We need personal connection and intimacy and trying to emulate everything and everyone you see online distracts from focusing on being present and building connection.
As a business owner, it’s easy to compare yourself with other entrepreneurs, but it’s so much better to support one another, hold each other up, and build relationships with like-minded people. Take a step back and not look at what other people are doing and concentrate on what God is calling you to do. Get intimate with the Holy Spirit and listen to what he’s telling you to do for the next right step.
Improving intimacy with God
To be truly intimate is also to listen. Don’t just pray, tell God your problems, ask Him for things, but then listen. Dr. Brown emphasized that it’s also important to ask God who we are, who he wants us to be, and how we should use the gifts he’s given us.
If you think about it, you need intimacy to succeed not only sexual intimacy. You need intimacy with God. To be in a relationship with Jesus to communicate with Him and listen for Him.
Intimacy with self
Another way you need intimacy to succeed is through self-acceptance. You need an intimate relationship with yourself to accept yourself, to love yourself, to respect yourself, and to be kind to yourself. In addition, all of your relationships will begin with your relationship with yourself.
You should never say anything bad about yourself because you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. The world may talk about you but don’t talk negatively about yourself. The Bible says that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Truly love yourself because people will treat you the way you treat yourself. Even Jesus took time for himself. As a business owner, it’s important for you to as well. When you rest, you will have more energy to build intimate connections.
Intimate connection with your spouse, your kids, and others requires you to have good self-intimacy and to know yourself and your boundaries.
You need intimacy to succeed and that means being truly present
When you are truly present, you are in the moment, you aren’t thinking about what’s going to happen in 10 hours. When you find yourself distracted, use your five senses. Find 5 things you can see, smell, taste, touch, hear. For example, if doing dishes, focus on doing dishes. If having a passionate moment with your spouse, focus solely on that.
The first is to focus on your five senses at that moment. Secondly, transition from work to home so that you can let go of other things and be in the moment. Learn to go with the flow. Nothing in this world is perfect. Stop trying to make everything perfect. It’s okay if you aren’t perfect. Imperfection makes the world beautiful.
And the third thing you can do is ask for help. Even if you ask the kids to help with dishes, laundry, etc. In both life and business, you need to ask for help. Not asking for help is one reason entrepreneurs don’t succeed.
Fourth, remember that sexual intimacy shouldn’t be a chore. Intimacy should be similar to a playground. Focus solely on the person you are with.
If you stop worrying in the bedroom and just play, you’ll have more intimacy.
How to change the mindset around intimacy and sex
You need intimacy to succeed in your relationships. Intimacy begins with communication.
Realize that menopause is real. There are real challenges that occur when the body transitions into menopause.
Eating properly and exercising helps with anxiety, depression, and your hormone levels. They also help you feel good about yourself by releasing positive endorphins.
Remember that what you liked when you were younger, may not be what you like now. So communicate your needs and what you want with your spouse. It takes 20 to 25 minutes to warm up a female’s body. Men don’t understand what women want, so you need to have the conversation – outside of the bedroom so that the bedroom doesn’t become a pressure cooker.
Men are more visual, whereas women are more emotionally connected.
The reason people get divorced
The number one reason people get divorced is because of loneliness. Loneliness is different than being alone. When couples aren’t communicating there can be a lack of trust.
How can couples grow closer and begin communicating better?
There are several things couples can do to improve their relationship.
Schedule and go on date nights
Do check-ins. Talk and have real conversations. If it is difficult to talk, use paper and a timer. Talk from the place of I feel and the other person can write – take notes – which helps you understand from the other person’s point of view.
Validate your spouse’s feelings. Don’t argue about a person’s feelings.
When you are experiencing difficulty with expressing your feelings because of the reaction of the other person, you both need to pay attention to your emotions and how you feel physically. The other person should be able to recognize what it looks like when the other person starts to get upset. There are solutions for having difficult conversations.
When one or the other person gets upset, it’s important to take a time out. Allow yourselves more time to process and to calm down. Calm down before you continue to communicate.
Remember, anxiety is not an excuse for communicating poorly or overreacting. If your spouse is anxious and gets upset when you express your feelings, you may need to take time out before pursuing the conversation. Writing and journaling, help process difficult conversations, and sometimes people need to move and work off the pressure or stress of the conversation. This is intimacy.
Does alcohol influence your sexual relationship and intimacy?
If you need intimacy to succeed, how does alcohol influence your ability to be intimate? Alcohol can sometimes become a third party in a relationship. When a partner goes to alcohol instead of to their partner when they are upset, it can cause additional conflicts. Alcohol may influence the thoughts and feelings toward another person. It can block you and prevent you from being vulnerable. Likewise, any addiction will decrease intimacy completely.
Dr. April Brown began her career as an accountant and then became a counselor. She now has a private practice and focuses on intimacy because people need connection. Dr. Brown helps individuals and families improve their connection. She believes that intimacy begins with your relationship with God, your spouse, and your children.
Creating meaningful valuable content can be challenging, especially when concerned about giving everything – your system or program – away for free.
You can create valuable content without giving everything away for free. When you truly know your soulmate client you can address their pain points instead and give advice without giving your entire program or system away for free.
Michelle Kopp’s Thinking it Through Wins and Wisdom Question
Struggling with how to provide value without giving my full program. Maybe I do and then if people need help they work with me. I’m not an expert in all the ways to save or find good deals on things but I am an expert on helping someone get a system to manage their money. I’m the number cruncher so they don’t have to be (in the beginning) and after working with me I teach them how to do it themselves. I empower people to manage their money since many have never been taught. But how do I deliver this value without “giving it all away” in newsletters or freebies? Or do I? Struggling.
Suggestions for creating valuable content without feeling like you’re giving it all away for free
Know your soulmate clients – well!
Ideal clients may know what they want but they don’t necessarily recognize what they need.
Address their pain points
What is it they are thinking about when making breakfast, doing dishes, folding laundry, or journaling before bed?
What is it they want more of – time, money?
Are they unorganized? Is that causing them to feel overwhelmed?
What do they fear? If they are in a state of fear they don’t look at their numbers and therefore don’t have a pulse on them which creates more stress.
No pulse on numbers correlates to no idea what and how much they need to do to create more demand in their business or where to cut back personally.
All of these things become content ideas that you can address and state how financial management helps resolve them.
You aren’t giving everything away for free but you are providing value and letting your soulmate clients know that you see them and understand their pain.
The more you share things like that the more they will see you as someone who cares about them and they will trust you.
You can provide value without giving them every solution, but dropping solutions periodically is helpful – maybe something as simple as a review of bookkeeping systems, tips on saving money, or tips on when and how often to look at their financial numbers.
Many times, they try your advice but won’t want to do it themselves – they may try but quickly think back “Michelle told me to do this but I need her to do it for me”
Another example of how to create valuable content
Ask yourself what 3 key things every business owner or mom needs to know to save time and ensure their finances are on track. Give tips that are meaningful to demonstrate you are an expert and authority in managing finances without giving your entire system away. Even if you give pieces of your program away for free at different times, people won’t be able to implement it fully without your help.
About Michelle Kopp
Michelle works with clients to give them hope for their future. She gives them a financial plan, the tools to make it happen, and the excitement to keep them going. Michelle is also an accountability partner and guide along the way. The financial journey affects their whole life and many of her clients have said it is truly life-changing to work with her.
Speaking is a fabulous way to increase visibility and create demand in your business.
Start speaking to create demand in your business. When you tap into your purpose and what you are an expert in, you become the authority in your niche and people will be excited to hear your message – from the stage. Speaking increases visibility thus creating demand for your business.
Say yes before you are ready
Laurie Ann said yes before she was ready and learned many tips and strategies to become a renowned speaker. She now helps others craft their signature talk so that they can be in demand. Robyn also said yes before she was ready. She was still terrified, but she said yes and spoke to become more visible and create demand in her business through speaking.
What does it mean to be in demand?
To be in demand means you are front of mind and without question, you are who people recommend or call.
Speaking is a form of visibility. If you aren’t seen, how is anyone going to hire you?
Speak from the heart
Knowing that speaking increases visibility, it’s important to overcome the fear of speaking. To do that, speak from the heart and from the knowledge in your brain with a positive mindset. Then you’ll be able to confidently and effectively speak from any stage. Don’t expect perfection. Speak from a place of passion knowing you are an expert and that the audience needs your expertise.
Speaking is an alternative way to be visible
If you don’t want to be on social media, speaking is an alternative way to become more visible, with a larger audience. Start speaking to increase demand without having to create content for, or spend time scrolling on social media.
Get out of your own way and start speaking to create demand for your business
If you want to become a speaker because speaking increases visibility, get out of your head and into your heart. Stop thinking so much about yourself and think about how you can serve your audience. You will get better with each talk or podcast interview you do.
What’s your story?
Laurie Ann’s methodology is built around story. Discover what your story is. What is your story, your transformation? How do you help people and how did you get to this point? The more every day it is, the better because people will be able to relate to it. Your everyday life and the challenges and growth you’ve experienced become the stories you share to communicate the lesson you want your audience to take away.
Point blank tell the audience what you want them to hear or see through your story. You can have a signature story that you use over and over again, but depending on the group or audience you are speaking to, you can change the lesson you want to convey.
The more you tell the same story the more confidence you will develop and the more people will recognize you. The way you tell your story on that very day is what will resonate with the audience and take a step in the right direction.
If you want to start speaking to create demand in your business, you need to tell a story that resonates with the audience
Take your audience on a journey with you. You want the audience to feel like they are in your story. It is about the pace you tell your story, the pauses, and where you inflect – it’s not a play-by-play.
Don’t let all the details get in the way of a good story. No play-by-play. You want people to experience the story with you while you share it. Stories entertain. Following this strategy builds an emotional connection with your audience. Through your story, you can communicate your expertise.
You have to give people a reason to put their phone down, to lean in and listen.
Once you capture their attention, explain why they should listen to you. Tell them why you are an authority – why they should listen.
Then teach and give value.
Next is your close and your CTA.
The goal of speaking
Now you know that speaking increases visibility and will help you create demand in your business. So what will your goals of speaking be?
As you create your talk, start with the end in mind. What do you want your audience to think, to do, or to feel differently? This is your goal. Start with your goal first. Ask yourself what needs to be in the presentation in order for this to happen. What does the audience need to learn, know, and understand?
The 3 C’s of speaking
Laurie’s 3 C’s of speaking are: be captivating, compelling, and converting.
There are three things that will hold your talk together. A story, a statistic, a case study, a metaphor, or an analogy. All of these support the tip that you are sharing with your audience.
There are over 7500 speaking opportunities a day. And each person that’s in the audience is someone who said yes to spending time with you. They are interested in the value you are going to provide.
How to find speaking engagements to become visible in the speaking arena
Is the title speaker in your bio? If you want to start speaking to create demand in your business, you need to have the title of speaker in your bio.
Have a speaking tab on your website. This will help with credibility as well as help with backlinks for SEO.
Ask yourself what organizations you are already a member of. Make a list of them as they are your warm market. Speak to the person in charge of recruiting speakers and ask about the process for booking speakers. You’ll learn a lot of information doing so. Oftentimes, people book speakers 18 months ahead of time.
Do you look like a speaker? Where can people hear you speaking – live streams, podcast interviews, etc.? These are a great way for even coordinators to see you speaking.
Ask anyone you speak for to refer you to two other opportunities.
Additional resources on storytelling and speaking:
Video content is a powerful tool for connecting with your soulmate clients and converting them to pay customers – even if not using social media.
If video content is powerful you need to know how to create and use video content. You can use video content even if you aren’t on social media. Create and use video content for Pinterest posts, blogs, email marketing, LinkedIn, inside memberships, masterclasses, and in every step of the sales cycle.
When you create and use video content in your business you can build an emotional connection with your audience and community must faster.
5 mistakes that entrepreneurs make when they create and use video content
1. Spend too much time creating perfect videos
2. Follow a one-and-done strategy – don’t assume that a perfect video will launch you into success. Use video in multiple facets of your business, instead of thinking about creating one major video. Think volume, not perfection.
3. Waiting until you can afford it
4. Hiring a video crew
5. Overproduce and over-stress about videos – become stressed, shallow, and unrelatable – not you, not authentic
The more natural you are, the more connection your audience will embrace you. And sometimes, the video content you spend the least amount of time on is the best. Try to have fun when creating your video content and it will be better and have more connection with your community.
Tips and strategies to create and use video content – Live video principles
When using the LIVE video principles you can create a lot of video content in a short amount of time and ultimately, grow your community, build an emotional connection with them, and make money faster.
The LIVE video principles can be applied to creating live videos and videos that you create and share later. Using the LIVE video principals you can create a lot of video content in a short amount of time.
L stands for low risk. Risk is irreversible negative outcomes. Whatever you can do to lower your risk, the more chances you’ll have to create more videos.
I stands for instant. Instant video is fast and not edited. It may or may not be live, but is conversational.
V stands for value. Provide value and make your communities’ lives better and easier.
E stands for everyday life. Intivet your viewers into your everyday life, but authentically you so that you can connect with them and see that you have something that will help them.
What tools do you need for creating video content?
Lighting and equipment can be a rabbit hole of details. You can create video content with your phone even when creating a course. The simpler the better. Once you get into creating video content, you might want to improve your sound and lighting. But focus on creating in a way that is push-button easy.
Apps to use when creating video content
Scott recommended Videoask.com. Once you record the video, you receive an URL that you can then save or share. The key is to make creating video content as easy as possible.
Where to house your video content?
You can use Vimeo and YouTube. Scott uses Vimeo for professional videos and for his courses. He uses YouTube for more general video content. A disadvantage of YouTube is that it tries to take people off of YouTube for ads. Vimeo doesn’t do that.
Something to help your faith
Keep a Hand of the Lord Journal. Journal about things that happened throughout your day. At the end of the day, Scott looks back on the day and documents how he saw God’s hand in his day, for example, was a prayer answered, did someone show a tender mercy or act of kindness, or was there a crazy coincidence? Robyn calls crazy coincidences God winks.
Scott Wilhite is an award-winning corporate and commercial filmmaker with more than 20 years of experience. As a writer-producer-director, he creates films and videos that get people’s hearts to beat. “Film is the most powerful tool of persuasion known to man,” he says.
If you want to be discovered by your soulmate clients, you must have a content strategy. Content is king and the most important part of your SEO strategy.
When you write content for SEO, you increase your chances of being found on Google and attracting your soulmate clients.
What you need to consider to write content for SEO that connects with your soulmate clients
The first thing to consider when you sit down to write content for SEO on your website is differentiation. When you differentiate yourself through stories you will stand out as an expert and authority in your niche. In addition, you will build an emotional connection with your audience and they will trust you faster.
What stories can you share?
First, share the story of the journey that led you to where you are today. What experiences, challenges, highs, and lows have you experienced that have given you the expertise you now have? Share your challenges and how you overcame them to get to where you are today. This will help your audience see that you can help them, that you truly understand their pain points, and will be able to help them overcome their challenges to reach their goals.
You can also share stories on how you felt God calling you to try something new, to start your business, and serve new people in a new way.
Tell stories about your experiences of working with clients. Likewise, share testimonials from clients so that your audience can see and understand how you are helping others. This will help your audience understand the quality of service or product that you offer, and that you help your clients get results. It will also indicate how you get results for your clients. All important factors for someone to decide to work with you.
When we talk about sharing stories in your content, don’t fear being vulnerable. The level of vulnerability is up to you. But you do want to demonstrate that you’ve had a myriad of experiences.
Marketing is communicating
When you think about how you want to write content for SEO, remember that marketing is communication. You build your personal brand and then you communicate what makes you unique. Your marketing strategy should include SEO so that people can find you and learn more about you and what makes you unique. As you think about the stories you want to tell in your content, always refer to what differentiates you. For the sake of SEO, the things that differentiate you become part of your keyword and keyphrase strategy on your website. Knowing without a doubt who your soulmate clients are will also help you fine-tune your keyword and keyphrase list so that they will know you are talking directly to them.
Along the lines of vulnerability, get personal. You don’t have to divulge your entire life history or your most intimate secrets but help your audience get to know you. Let them see your personality. People are more likely to buy from a personality they like and trust than to simply purchase a product or service.
Be a resource when you write content
When you consider what to write when creating content, think about providing value for your audience. You don’t have to give everything away. But share enough that your audience can easily see and understand that you have the knowledge, tools, processes, or products that they need to reach their goals.
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that you can’t give too much away. This may be controversial, but the reality is that when you become a go-to resource, you demonstrate your authority in your area of expertise, and people will keep coming back for more. Most people won’t have the time, energy, or resources to implement or do everything you teach. Therefore the more you present yourself as a resource, the more likely your audience will see you as someone they need to hire.
Be sure and use keywords and key phrases as you share resources, especially long-tail key phrases, to get found on Google when people search for your expertise.
When you write content for SEO you must write with clarity
Google doesn’t want to have to second guess what your website is about. Your content strategy must be clear and follow a hierarchy. For example, if you are writing a blog post about hiring a Christian business coach, you should have the phrase Christian business coach throughout your article. Use the phrase in the title, in headers, and throughout the article.
But be sure that your end message is clear to the reader as well. There should be no opening for confusion on the topic you are writing about or what your expertise is. Even if you are writing on a topic that isn’t directly related to your business, doing a podcast interview is a perfect example, be strategic and link that topic back to something you say and do to help your clients.
Strategy is key to ensuring clarity so that your soulmate clients know you are speaking directly to them and are here to help them.
Structure your content so that Google can make sense of it. This means breaking your content down into bite-size chunks. Write for ease of understanding and have an order in your content so that people don’t feel like they are jumping all over the place to figure out what you are trying to say. Use headings, sub-headings, and short sentences and paragraphs to make your content easy to skim and read. Remember, most people skim content first on a mobile device. The easier you make it for people to read your content, the more Google will see you as creating content that people will be interested in seeing.
A content strategy is necessary if your want to write content for SEO
The content you create is obviously important but the content strategy doesn’t stop there. For Google to see your website as one they should rank, they want to see that people come to your site and stay on your site. The longer they stay on your site, the more value Google will think you provide.
To keep people on your site, write content that you can link to additional content on your site. Include internal links to blog posts and content that will provide added value. Think of it as sending your audience down a rabbit hole of learning opportunities.
When you write content that provides value and is seen as resourceful your audience will continue to consume the content. The more they consume your content, the more they will see you as an expert and therefore, the more they will trust you. Since trust determines buying practices, writing content that builds trust is critical. In addition, Google will trust you when they see your audience trusts you and will be more likely to rank you higher on search engine results pages.
Your content should be:
Original – your perspective, your opinion, a new idea or concept, your original approach to solving a problem, for example, my Purpose to ResultsTM – Success without Social. No one wants to read copycat content and when Google sees that you are providing new perspectives, they will be more likely to share your content.
Readable and skimmable – this is where headings, sub-headings, short sentences, and small paragraphs especially come into play.
Findable – use a keyword and keyphrase strategy that will help Google understand specifically what you want to be found for and who should find you.
There’s always an opportunity if you are willing to step into it. But you have to stop playing small if you want to take advantage of the opportunity and grow beyond six figures.
It’s time to stop playing small if you want to grow beyond six figures. Here are four steps you can take to grow beyond six figures this year – with simplicity.
The Expert in You Method
Step 1 – Redesign your revenue model
Most people do not have a good revenue model. Use a top-down approach. Go after your highest offer first, the thing you want to be known for. Instead of upselling from a lower ticket program, down sell from the higher ticket offer to lower ticket offers only if they cannot afford the highest ticket offer.
Create one core offer that you become known for. Position yourself as an expert and authority for that offer and what you do inside the offer. Doing so will put you in a premium category.
Step 2 – Revamp your marketing
What worked before you redesigned your offer won’t work now. Marketing strategies that work for getting to 6-figure revenue are different than marketing strategies that get you to multi-six figures and beyond. Everything has to elevate. Your brand and your target audience have to elevate. That is if you want the simpler road.
Clients need different avenues for finding you. For example, a CEO isn’t going to come to you through a funnel. Understand how your clients buy, how they are attracted to something, and how you can reach them. Like Robyn, Ann teaches multiple ways to market your business. Scalable speaking is one option for reaching higher-end, premium clients.
Keep in mind, your marketing strategy shouldn’t be about the “what” but about the details and the how in the “what” that will ultimately convert your audience to clients.
Six figures are barely enough to grow. That amount is less of a business and more of an income but doesn’t leave you with money to invest in your business. Six-figures is a start, it’s just scratching the service.
If you’re only thinking six figures, you’re thinking too small.
Step 3 – Restructure your sales process
You’re marketing should be bringing you people that are 80 to 90% sold. Then you quality them even further.
The conversation should be as easy as having coffee with a friend. It’s an opportunity to get to know them and ensure you are the right fit to work together.
How do you onboard your clients, take the payment, etc? Your payment method is important because you can remain cash poor if you don’t take a large percentage as a down payment and only take smaller amounts monthly. Ann teaches two methods. First, get more paid in full clients and put all of that money in your bank account. Second, take a lot more money on the front in and then offer a payment plan. Know how to manage your money right and the paid-in-full method is the best.
Step 4 – Rev up your revenue and grow beyond six figures
How can you scale once you’ve created more revenue? Look for ways to build your business that aren’t dependent on you. It’s limitless on what you can accomplish.
Learn more from and connect with Ann Carden
Ann Carden is a speaker, coach, and educator for professional entrepreneurs and business coaches, and consultants.
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